From Miss Independent to Miss Depended On

AAEAAQAAAAAAAAbxAAAAJGRjZmU5ZmM4LTFlZTUtNDViNy1iM2JkLTEyZWI0NTJhZWZlZQ

Minus the alcoholic beverage, this picture just about sums up my life. Add some laundry, baby spit up, some colicky tendencies, and postpartum high blood pressure issues && you just might understand what it is like becoming a mom. MAYBE….



Now I am fully aware that no two stories are the same, but from the outpouring of love && support from my family//friends, and social media gurus, I am learning that more times than none, we have all experienced the same things when becoming mamas.  I guess the parts that make it different fall on a more emotional level &&how we handle things mentally.



Pre Clayton days, I was this crazy independent women ((still am)), always on the go, striving for more. I would do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.  Maybe it was because of my childhood upbringing, or the fast paced world we live in, but either way, I would jump at any opportunity regardless of the outcomes.  I depended on no one.   What I had, I earned.  What I wanted, I worked my ass off for.  I was emotionally strong, because I had to be. I built walls around me.  No one or nothing could hurt me ((anymore)).

645c9cd64fc9f327c2107cf9bd6e92ba

After Clayton, those emotions began to break down.  I found myself vulnerable again. When he cried, I cried.  When he was in pain, I was in pain.  When he was happy, I was happy ((&& still cried)).  His being; his little life, stripped me raw. I am emotional in every sense of the way.  I fear like I’ve never feared.  I call my pediatrician like they are my own personal help.  I get stressed much faster and much easier.  I feel like I get nothing accomplished && struggle to find the time to eat.  I used to be so scheduled about everything in life. NOW, a schedule?  What is that anyways?  Is it Monday?  What month are we even in?  The days fly by in a blink of an eye && yet sometimes I feel like they aren’t moving at all.

IMG_9966 (1)

BUT he has taught me how to feel love much deeper, hope much stronger && believe much harder. I went from being Miss Independent to Miss Depended On.  I am forever a mom first.  I am forever loved by this sweet boy.  I am forever changed.  I am forever blessed.  Because he is everything I’ve ever wanted && more, that makes any feeling I experience so worth it.  ❤



No matter how we handle becoming a mother, we all experience what it means to love a child unconditionally, no strings attached.  We all become a Miss Depended On && I know I wouldn’t have it any other way.

IMG_0033.JPG

imagesTanya ❤

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s